I am at a most trying stage in my life at the moment. It feels worse than when my father died. I find myself crying whenever and wherever - at the office, while driving to work or at home. I am past the sadness. Now I cry due to hatred. I feel like I'm at the brink of a nervous breakdown. I am already too depressed. I feel like hurting the person who caused me all this as much as he he has hurt me. I'd like to make a clean break from him, lose myself in another country and start all over again. When it becomes too much, I know that I'll find the courage to do all that.

Baligang

While riding a jeepney in Daraga in Bicol, I saw an old lady selling baligang along the rode in the market area. My mouth immediately watered, remembering this fruit from childhood. My earliest memory of this fruit is when I was maybe about 4 or 5 years old when our family was living Rapu-rapu, one of Albay's islands. My father was a teacher assigned in that island. This fruit is best eaten after shaking them with salt in an enclosed bowl as seen below.

Kimchi Ramen in SM Naga

For my weekend in Bicol, I came down to Naga for the first time on my way to Legazpi. I had a couple of things to tick off on my wedding list which I have scheduled this Friday. Thankfully, I managed to reserve the videographer and photographer, both of which are based in Naga. After the contract signing, I decided to spend what's left of the afternoon in SM Naga since I haven't been there. I ended up having a whole body reflexology massage, and it was truly relaxing. Best treat I gave myself in a long time. I was so hungry afterwards, I ended up finishing this bowl of Kimchi Ramen :)

Favorite Asian Dramas

Since I've admitted to being an asian drama addict, I might as well list down the dramas I like. This actually will serve another purpose. I find that when I'm bored and couldn't find any interesting new dramas to watch, watching old dramas is good enough. So here's my list (not by rank mind you):

1. Wedding (Korea)
For some reason, I find this drama very touching. It does drag in some episodes, but still I find this sweet, tender, and hopeful. And when my mood seeks a sad drama, this is a good watch.

2. Secret Garden (Korea)
The idea of swapping bodies initially didn't appeal to me. I thought it was too much of a fantasy. Thus, no matter that it has been in the top viewed in several sites that I frequent during its first release, it just didn't appeal to me. Until, out of boredom and lack of dramas to watch, I tried an episode. And so I was hooked. The phasing is just right. I laughed out loud in some scenes, cried in others, and was just so into the romance.

3. KonRuk Luang Jai/The Trickery of Love Dupes the Hearts (Thailand)
Really loved this drama. The family dynamics of Bua's family is great, and his brother is the best character I've met in dramaland. He's cool, the best friend you could hope for, protective brother for his sister, and the sweetest boyfriend with a nice job (what more can you ask for in a guy?).

4. Emergency Couple (Korea)
A second chance at love is always a good romance. As I've thought, being ready to settle down is what makes it work, no matter how in love you are. This is a feel good movie. Pacing is just right. Might get you frustrated at times because of the leads not feeling in love at the same time, but eventually they get there.

5. Marriage, Not dating (Korea)
Ongoing. Will write my thoughts once the drama is complete

Being in Finance is no Fun

It's 1am and I'm still at the office. Sigh.... It's gonna be another all nighter :(

Getting in Touch With Old Friends

If there's one good thing that happened amidst the preparations for this wedding it's that I was able to reach out to my good friend from childhood. It's been years since I've last seen her. And that was the time just before she went to Canada. We had a few emails after that, but I was so caught up with work I hardly responded until there was none. I admit it was my fault. I'm never good at keeping in touch. But the good thing about me is that I always pick up from where I left off whenever I see old friends. I'm so happy to be reconnected with her that I promise to keep the this friendship going this time.

Weekend Crasher

I'm totally pissed off. I really hate it that my new boss doesn't have a concept of time- off from office. She texts and calls as she please even though it's weekend or after office hours. I'm really pissed off!

Waiting for my turn at my dentist's office. Sigh... I wonder how long I've yet to wait before these braces comes off.

Me Without You

Know that when you're not here

Emptiness engulfs me

I live life without a soul

Myself but a mere facade

Some Form of Addiction

This is addiction, and one I truly need to overcome soon. For some reason, once I get involved into a story, I need to finish it 'til the end. It started with books. Believe me, I can finish a book (no matter how many pages) in one seating. Now that we've got internet, I took to watching asian dramas online. I can watch without sleeping and eating, just so I can finish the story. And once I get to the last episode, most of the time I feel empty, like the ending was not worth the sleepless nights and forgotten meals. Just so you know, I haven't slept a wink since Friday night, and I haven't eaten lunch. Yeah, that's how bad it is.